We, as a society ruin our children - we steal their joy, we repress their emotions, we make them doubt themselves, we make them feel badly about themselves. Here’s how we do it.
1. We turn children away from their inner guidance, from what their body knows, from the wisdom in their souls and hearts and minds. We teach them that we know better, the schools know better, all adults know better, their bosses know better.
2. We force them to do things they don’t want to do. You must learn soccer, we say. You said you wanted this sandwich, now you must eat every last bit! we say. You must go to school, we say. You are unable to learn what you need to know to survive in this world unless it is force-fed to you, we say.
3. We don’t let them make themselves feel better. We thwart the natural therapy of feeling their emotions and turning their attention to something that makes themselves feel good. Quit fidgeting! Put that down! Pay attention to me!
In another post, I shared some ways I get myself feeling better - and feeling better is just as important for kids as it is for adults. Being able to make yourself feel better is a much more essential skill to learn than say, the multiplication tables.
One of the best things about children is their joy - their sheer enthusiasm for life and living … and when we do the above three things, we steal their joy. We make the world a dreary and scary place. Life is supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to feel good. Let’s learn how to feel good and never train our children away from how to feel good.
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